Therapy for perfectionism in Nottingham
I'm Mandy van Zwam, a psychotherapeutic counsellor, and I offer counselling and psychotherapy for adults who live by impossibly high standards, in Beeston, Nottingham, and online across the UK. We won't try to make you care less. We look at what the standards are protecting you from.
My private practice opens in early 2027. Sessions cost £80 for 50 minutes, in person or online, and we start with a free 20-minute discovery call. Until then, your GP can help, or you can refer yourself to NHS talking therapies.
What does perfectionism look like?
From outside it can look like success. Inside it feels more like a test you are always about to fail. You rewrite the email six times. You finish the project and see only the one thing that went wrong. Praise slides off you; criticism stays for weeks. Rest has to be earned, and you rarely feel you have earned it.
Perfectionism can also look like its opposite: putting things off, never starting, or dropping things you care about because doing them badly feels unbearable. It often travels with anxiety and low self-esteem, and with a harsh inner voice you would never use on a friend.
How can therapy help with perfectionism?
High standards usually start as a solution. Perhaps love or safety seemed to depend on doing well, on not causing trouble, or on being the one who never needed anything. The rule "be perfect" made sense then. It keeps running long after the situation that needed it has gone.
My training is in transactional analysis, which has a name for this kind of inner instruction: a "driver". Together we notice when the driver takes over, where it learned its voice, and what it costs you now. I work relationally, so we also notice how it shows up between us, for example if you try to be a good client or worry about doing therapy wrong. You can't do therapy wrong. The aim is for you to do things well enough, rest without guilt, and let a mistake be a mistake.
Is this the right help for me?
Therapy with me suits people who are tired of the rules and want to know where they came from. If you would prefer a short, structured course of techniques, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) may suit you better, and NHS talking therapies offer it. If perfectionism has pushed you into exhaustion, trouble with eating or sleep, or thoughts of harming yourself, please see your GP as well. If you are having thoughts of ending your life, please don't wait: call Samaritans on 116 123 at any hour, or 999 if you are in danger now.
What happens next?
My private practice opens in early 2027, and you can join the waitlist now. When a place comes up, we start with a free 20-minute discovery call to talk about what is happening for you and whether working together feels right. If it does, we meet weekly for 50 minutes, in person in Beeston or by video from anywhere in the UK. You don't need to have the right words ready.
You can read more about me and my training, see what therapy costs, or read common questions about sessions and confidentiality.
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Common questions
Isn't perfectionism a good thing?
High standards can be. Perfectionism is different: the standard keeps moving, and missing it feels like a verdict on you, not on the task. Therapy won't take away your care for good work. The aim is for you to keep the care and lose the fear.
Can we work in Dutch?
Yes. Therapy in Dutch.
Where I see clients in and around Nottingham
In person at Highfields Therapy in Beeston (NG9), a short tram, train or bus ride from Chilwell, Attenborough, Bramcote, Stapleford, Wollaton, Lenton and West Bridgford. Online by video anywhere in the UK.